Making of The Avengers
by ShepardCousland
Summary: What if the avengers were just super powered people paid to play themselves to make the movie known as The Avengers? What happens behind scenes with the actors and their peculiar set of personalities? Pure and utter chaos.
1. Fliming: Day 1

**_AN: Just something funny I came up with, I don't know if you guys will like it. If you do please let me know._**** Idea sparked from **myLITTLEnekoSHIRO

"Sir, please put down the spear!" Nick fury demanded, while his face remained neutral, his voice was stern. The shield agents guns all aimed at the foreign Asgardian.

"You think you can stop a prince!" Loki yelled.

"Cut!" the director said, rubbing his temple. "Loki, that was not your line."

"How dare you talk to a prince in such a manner!" Loki seethed, flinging his hair out of his face. "I am Loki, prince of Asgaurd, I must announce myself to the world!"

"Yes Loki, we are aware of who you are, " the director sighed. "But in this part you don't have a line, you don't start talking till the scene with Hawkeye."

"What did you say!" Hawkeye said, flickering with his hearing aid.

The director sighed, when he first started this project he had high hopes that the movie would be a success. Having the actors play themselves in a movie with no need for animated powers sounded like a perfect idea. If he known then he would have to put up with their peculiar set of personalities, he would have just scarped the whole project. Many of his fellow directors laughed at him when he first told him about the production of his new movie, he felt insulted that they would dare tell him his movie would be a flop. Now he couldn't help but agree, he could hear their taunts this very moment.

"Look, let's take this from the top," the director screams into his megaphone. "This time Loki don't say a word just shoot the Tesseract leading to the fight scene."

"Loki's introduction take two!"

"Sir, please put down the spear!" Nick Fury said once again.

"I am Loki of Asguard, bow down to me!" Loki shouted shooting the Tesseract towards Nick. The blue light emiited from the weapon, causing a huge explosion.

"Should we cut sir?" the camara asked from behind the bubble that protected the crew from any damage.

"No," the driector sighed, not wanting to start over. "Just have the scene edited."

"You have heart," Loki grimaced, pointing the Tesseract at Hawkeye's heart.

"What was that?" Hawkeye said, causing the director to to cut.

"What is up with you actors not sticking with your lines..." the director groaned. "For goodness sake, Hawkeye turn up your hearing aid!"

"Turn up my what?" Hawkeye yelled, the director pointed to his ear. "Oh, my hearing aid. Why didn't you just say so?"

It took every fiber in the director's body not to leave and never come back.

"Loki, brother of Thor," Dr. Selvig admonished, on cue Loki grimaced at the mention of his brother.

"We have no quarrel with your people," Nick Fury protests.

"An ant has no quarrel with a boot," Loki said darkly.

"Nick I know your black behind is in here!" a woman said, coming from out of nowhere and stormed the set heading where Nick Fury was.

"Cut!"

The director groaned, cover his face with his hands. This day was not off to a good start, and this was only the first day of shooting. When the other heroes get here he knew he would have his hands full.

Why did he just not listen to his mother and go to culinary school instead. He would have been a great chef, and not some deadbeat director with his last shot at fame working with a brunch of needy actors.

"Shonda!" Nick gasps. "What are you doing here. Can't you see I'm working!"

"Working? I don't call crawling into a whore's\s bed last night is working!" the woman yelled. "You didn't think I would found out you was cheating on me! I saw you last night with some woman."

"I'm with a lot of women, it's my job!" Nick argued.

"Oh! So you sleep with all the women in shield!" she sneered.

"Wait, that's not what I meant..." Nick exclaimed, trying to explain but the woman just dismissed him with her hand.

"I see, well have fun sleeping with them whores," she finished storming off the set.

"Shonda! Baby come back! I can explain!" Nick said, running behind the woman and leaving the set.

"What do we do now sir?" the camera man asked. Without Nick Fury, the beginning of the movie would be at a standstill.

"I'll be in my trailer, we'll pick up shooting tomorrow." The director sulked to his trailer sadly as the camera man and assistant director watch him leave, slightly felling sorry for the man.

"He's going to cry in the trailer," the camera man noted, the assistant director nodded in agreement.

"What?" Hawkeye yelled to no one in particular.


	2. Fliming: Day 2

"I want the cars lined up perfectly for the getaway scene," the director ordered, making his own focial point with his hands. He was a perfectionist if nothing more. "You, make sure the actors are ready. You make sure the green-screen is functional."

The crew nodded as they scurried on to their assigned duties. The director was in a much better mood then he was yesterday, he felt today he might could get at least the Loki getaway scene out of the way. He had his new assistant Linda fix him his morning coffee just the way he liked it. He took a seat in his personal chair, and took a whiff of his coffee as he observed the set.

Just s he was about to take a sip of his coffee he could hear things being thrown.

"No, no, no!" The director heard Loki yell from his trailer.

"Oh lord," the director mumbled, and suddenly his coffee did not look so perfect. He placed the coffee down, took a deep breath and headed towards the prince's trailer.

He knocked on the door, Loki's yelling was louder then his knocking, so he begin to pound on the door, after a while the prince's assistant came to the door.

"Please help me," the young man begged. The director patted the man on the shoulder and walked passed him into the elegant trailer, which had to be one of most orderly vintage trailer he has ever seen. Everything in the room was perfectly matched and even, like someone spent hours making sure it was just that way. He noticed the Asgard huddled up in a corner, shaking back and forth.

"Loki, is there something wrong?" the director asked.

"My hair," Loki replied meekly.

"What's wrong with your hair?" the director inquired.

Loki stood up and slowly turned around towards the director, and pointed at the front part of his hair. The director looked at his hair, that in his book did not look any different then it did yesterday, and frowned.

"I still don't understand what is wrong?"

"My hair is uneven!" Loki shouted, holding up two strands of his front part. "This side is longer than this one. It's unsymmetrical!"

"Loki, I don't see anything wrong with your hair," the director said.

"Of course, a low life peasant such as yourself don't see it," Loki seethed, the director's frown grew more pronounce at his direct insult. "I refuse to work with my hair like this!"

"No, no don't do that," the director quickly said. The last thing he needed was for one of his main actors to quit. He was the main villain for goodness sake, without him there was no movie. "How about you just cut the other side to make it even?"

He quickly regretted his statement as the Asguardian turned around with a horrified expression on his face.

"Cut my hair...!" he exclaimed, the director took a step back. "How dare you tell a god to cut his hair! You filthy humans may cut your hair at whim, but not Loki the god of mischief! The future king of Asguard!"

"I thought Thor was the future king?" the director thought out loud, quickly realizing his mistake.

But it was too late, Loki had heard what he said, the mention of his brother getting the throne made his eyes flashed red, his fist clinch, and his teeth gritted. The director backed up slowly to the exit. "On second thought, how about you just stay inside of here."

He could hear a lion-like growl from the trailer as he took his leave and quickly shut the door behind him.

Great, now he was short a main actor for a while.

"So, what you saying, we can put a digital Loki in the back of the car, without him physically being here?" the director asked, amazed by how technology has develop from over the years. He remember when he was just a young boy, and computer was that of a man's imagination. Now he was learning people could be somewhere they are not all by the use of computers.

"Yeah, basically like a hologram," the CGI specialist answered.

The director did a little happy dance and slapped the man on the back.

"Sounds good to me!" the director smiled, turning back to the set. "Alright everyone places!"

Nick laid on the ground wounded, while the hologram Loki was in the car, and Hakweye, Maria Hill, Dr. Selvig and other shield agents under Loki's influence got in place.

"Action!"

"Hill come in!" Nick yelled, through the walkie-talkie, taking a bullet out from his vest.

Maria quickly noticed something was wrong and turned to grab her gun Hakweye a much faster drawer then she was grabbed his and shoot at her. Instead of her not taking any damage nd since the gun was suppose to be a prop, a real bullet fired from the gun and penetrated her leg.

"Shit!" Hill yelped, falling to the ground. The on staff medics quickly run to her side.

"What the hell was that-!" the director sputtered, throwing his megaphone down and running towards the scene.

"I got real bullets just like you said," Hawkeye said proudly, with a accomplish smile. The director looked at the brown hair male, hoping he didn't have nothing to do with this.

"What in the hell are you talking about..." the director managed through his intial shock.

"I heard you say make sure to use real bullets," Hawkeye replied. "But your crew put in fake bullets, don't worry I replaced them," he finished with a wink.

"You idiot!" the director shouted. "I said make sure they are_ not _real bullet! If you fix your damn hearing aid you would know that!"

Hawkeye looked sadly at the ground, even through this was mostly-no scratched that, all of his fought, the director felt bad for yelling at the him. In some twisted way this was his fought for not saying it somewhere the man could not hear them. That is what the lawsuit will say when Maria decides to file one.

"Look, it is OK, just make sure to fix your hearing aid," the director said, patting him on the back. Hawkeye nodded and walked off sadly, still upset that the man yelled at him.

"Sir, what are we going to do now?" Linda asked at his side, as they watch Maria being pulled out by a stretcher.

"I mean she's not that important," the director shrugged. "Maybe I'll just cut her out of the movie."

"May I suggest something?" Linda asked, the director nodded. "How about we get that actor that plays in How I Met Your Mother? They look like twins."

"I guess, that could work," the director said, rubbing his chin. "If you say they both look alike."

"They do. I'll have her here by tomorrow," Linda finished, pulled out her phone and walked away.

"Will this movie every be finished..." the director sighed.

"Sir, the hologram Loki is not working," a crew member said.

"I hate my life."


End file.
